Am I the only one who always feels like they need to do more?
I could write a list of at least a hundred things I think I should be doing and am not doing. Things that other people seem to be able to do that I just can’t figure out how to stay on top of.
I go to bed each night committed to having a better day the next day, to be a more attentive and loving mother, to exercise and eat healthy, to cook and clean and be on top of it all- then I wake up and I forget all the good things I told myself I was going to do the night before.
And even when I do wake up and make an extra effort to do everything I want, I always fall short. I end up draped across the couch at 3 in the afternoon spacing out on my phone with chaos going on around me wishing it were bedtime.
There’s a lot of pressure put on moms to be perfect and some of it is self-inflicted. Someone at church talked about this thing called lifestyle porn. It’s true, we live in a world constantly checking up on others via social networking sites like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. We see the best parts of the lives of others (and sometimes the fake or half-true parts of the lives of others) and try to recreate it in our own lives only to fall short. Then we ask ourselves why aren’t I capable of doing all the things that she’s doing on a daily basis?
There are somedays I actually have to stop and remind myself that nobody has a beautifully coordinated, insta-worthy life every second.
I don’t like to admit that I look at other people’s seemingly perfect lives and sometimes think that I need to live my life more like them. I really enjoy Instagram and I follow a lot of other bloggers. Unfortunately, bloggers have a habit of making it seem like makes it seem like every second of our lives are really well put together. It’s not at all true, and I know that, but sometimes as I mindlessly scroll through the gram I compare myself to others. I think wow, so many people really have their lives together- why aren’t I like that? Why can’t I seem to wake up at 6, go for a run, come home and drink my green smoothie, shower and get all dolled up, and have an ultra-productive day all while playing with my kids and making sure that dinner is on the table at 5.
I’m sure some of you have the same problem.
Now I’m not saying that I think people should stop posting their nice photos that show off the better sides of their lives- I really like seeing them. In my opinion, that’s what Instagram is for. It’s a photo sharing app. I don’t want to see a bunch of poorly-lit, blurry pictures of messy houses and mombies (mom-zombies). I see that everyday in real life. No, what I’m saying is that I need to stop comparing myself to the best side of other people.
Instead of comparing myself and thinking I’m not good enough or doing enough, I need to proactively look at my life and make positive changes that will best suit me and my family. I have a toddler so trying to keep my house perfectly clean every second of the day will just burn me out, but if I can keep it picked up and deep clean a little bit of my house everyday I’ll know that my house is clean. We’re really busy with work and school, plus there are only three of us who eat real food, so trying to cook a big dinner every night would be a waste. But I can cook every couple nights and we can eat leftovers.
And sometimes I need to just say, you know what? I’m doing good. I’m a good mom and wife and I don’t need to overwork myself. Because I am doing enough. And even though I’m definitely not perfect, there’s no shame in my mom game.
No Shame in my Mom Game is an initiative created by Page 261. It’s goal is to empower mamas to be confident in their own abilities:
“There’s few things worse in life than feeling like a “less than” mother. Whether we put that pressure on ourselves or we have been judged by someone else, mom shame is real. And it sucks. The purpose of this design is to help you CONFIDENTLY choose as a mother and rock that confidence. You may not always have the words to defend yourself but my items can do the talking for you. Don’t ever let anyone shame you mamas. EVER.” – Nicke / Founder of Page 261